Drunk people, fake bulls and broken glass…

Drunk people, fake bulls and broken glass. That’s right, you heard me correctly. Sounds like an interesting mix right? Trust me it was.

Since my arrival in Italy I have heard numerous times about a festival that takes place every year. Still to this day (even after the festival) I don’t know what it is called or even what is signifies. Every time someone mentioned this festival, I was told about all the drunk people that go. Now I know why. I can only recall maybe 2 or 3 times when I have seen so many drunk people in one place before. Now keep in mind I’ve done my fair share of partying. I was lucky enough to attend what was voted the #1 party school in America for several years. Go UALBANY!!! Something to be proud of right?

So this festival (whatever it was called) takes place once a year in a town called Offida. Its a tiny little medieval mountain town tucked away in the Italian countryside. In order to reach this town you have to take a special bus which only runs a couple times throughout the day. Since the bus doesn’t run often, there is a mad rush to hop on when the doors open. Since I’m bigger than half of the people in this country, I ran through the crowd like an NFL fullback and held a spot to let my friends hop on, with just enough time for me to climb up into the bus also.

We journeyed into the Italian countryside packed in a bus like sardines in a can. I didn’t care how cramped and uncomfortable I was, this was some amazing scenery. It seemed like we must have made no fewer than ten 180 degree turns up the steep winding road. The further up the mountain we traveled, the more I felt like we were going back in time. Gradually the typical modern apartment style Italian homes were being replaced by small country homes, most with adjoining olive groves or vineyards. At this point we were pretty far up in the mountains and far from the modern world. The bus made a stop to let a passenger off and I quickly noticed the house in front of me. It was a secluded country house with a couple of sheep sitting outside. Suddenly an old Italian woman in a traditional housecoat came outside onto the front porch area. She looked at the bus suspiciously like she had never seen it before. Is it just me or do Italians always need to know whats going on? Quickly she was back to her sweeping on the porch. This immediately stirred up warm memories of my Grandmother. Don’t ask me why, but I feel like she was always sweeping. Finally the bus started to move forward and I saw a giant chicken come trotting around the corner, I had to crack a smile.

We finally made it to the town of Offida. I got off the bus and realized immediately that I was out of place. Most people aged 15 – 65 were wearing these white outfits with red socks and bandannas wrapped around their waists. Apparently I never got the memo. It was only about a minute later that the real fun started. Out of nowhere I saw a huge fake bull with about 4 people inside of it running full speed down the street while every single person around the bull was chasing it. I know the videos will not do this justice but let me tell you it was crazy and also a lot of fun. For several hours this bull chasing went on, while the alcohol flowed. It was all around a great time and a lot of fun. Easily one of the best experiences I’ve ever had in Italy. I managed to capture some great pictures (click here to view slideshow) and also some really good videos.(click here to view videos)

The trip up the mountain in the bus was enjoyable. Six hours later being crammed in a bus with cold and tired drunk people isn’t as much fun. We’ve all spent the past 6 hours freezing our butts off drinking wine, all while chasing other drunk people pretending to be a bull. At this point everyone wanted to be home. About 5 minutes into our trip down the mountain the bus pulls to the side of the road. Everyone is so tired no one says a word. After a couple minutes we are still on the side of the road. Two minutes turns into five, five minutes turns into ten. Ten minutes turns into twenty, you get the point. Its now been over thirty minutes and the bus hasn’t moved an inch. After careful inspections of the doors and emergency exit buttons, it was determined that the bus was broke. Now just imagine a bus full of drunk people who want to get home. It was absolute madness. It may have only been about 45 minutes but it felt like an eternity. Tempers were rising, people were fighting, what a mess. Finally we receive word (keep in mind this is all happening in Italian) that “if we want to go home, get off the bus, if we don’t want to go home, stay on the bus.”

I wanted to go home so I got off. We got off the bus and however cold it was an hour earlier, it must have been ten degrees cooler now. Confusion continues for the next hour. I look around and realize I am in the middle of the Italian countryside, freezing cold, surrounded by drunk people who don’t even speak my language. What have I gotten myself into and can it get any worse? Just after that thought, the snowflakes started falling.

About ten minutes later one guy decides to take the emergency mallet from the bus and break a bus window, glass shatters and flies everywhere. At this point I don’t know how it could get any worse (keep in mind I’m a pretty sarcastic guy). We finally receive word of a bus coming to rescue us from the snowy hills of Italy. The bus is coming from the street below which is about 15 feet down a steep hill. I brace myself to walk down this hill. At this point I’m in survival mode and need to get on this bus. I take a couple steps while balancing myself. On the third step I slipped, tumbling down the steep hill only to be greeted at the bottom by a cement wall and some type of thorn bush. Maybe I had one too many glasses of wine. Just kidding, I wasn’t even drunk. I finally manage to pick myself up. I’m covered in mud, have a cut on my shin and I am picking the thorns out of my fingers.

I let it all sink in while the snowflakes continue to fall on my head. I only have one word for this life of mine……..Vaffanculo!